"Caring For Her Son Inspired Mum To Support Other Carers"
Elaine McCarthy was left to care for her son, Kevin, after an accident which left him with serious head injuries and a number of broken bones. She described her son’s life changing injuries as “traumatic”.
In 1985, Kevin Spencer was left with severe head injuries and broken bones after being hit by a car on his way home from a disco in Bristol. He was just 13-years-old at the time and sadly never walked again.
Kevin pictured before his accident with his brother Adrian (left) and sister Lorraine outside their family home in St. Paul’s.
Fourteen years after Kevin’s accident, Elaine decided that she wanted to help other carers, knowing the profound effects it can have on them.
Elaine decided to join Bristol Black Carers, in the late 90s. She told The Bristol Post:
“I lived in St Pauls where my son’s accident was but we couldn't stay in the house we were living in because he needed to be in a wheelchair.”
“He was confined to a wheelchair because after the accident, a lot of things changed. He wasn't able to do things for himself like walking.”
“One side of him was left paralysed so he needed care all the time.”
“As things got better he became a little bit more independent so he didn't need me all the time, so I could do other things. I was the only one caring for him and I was a single mum as well. I also had other children.
“The accident was traumatic. I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn't, because it was. I had to fight for literally every solitary thing to help us and, you know, for the other children as well their father died when they were fairly young so I was left on my own to cope and I did.
Along with caring for Kevin full-time, Elaine had five other children to take care of, with her eldest being 15 at the time and her youngest child was two.
As she was a single mother, she also had to take her children with her when Kevin was in rehab in London to support him with his head injury, including how to feed himself and essentially starting from the beginning. She said:
“It was long term and lots of different illnesses crept in because he wasn't mobile.”
“For instance, six years ago we took him on holiday to Jamaica and on the way back, his esophagus broke, so they kind of flew us home quickly so that he can get help.”
“He had a couple of operations, but prior to that he was healthy for a long time so that’s why we thought ‘Okay, let’s go on holiday’, and he had a really good holiday and the last day coming home it was a total nightmare.”
“Believe it or not we did get through it and he wasn't ill again until he died three years later.”
Elaine McCarthy and Anndeloris Chacon (CEO of Bristol Black Carers)
Despite the affects of her son having a difficult life, she still persevered and pursued a career in helping other black and ethnic minority carers.
In 1999, Elaine attended a Bristol Black Carers Annual General Meeting, where she was inspired to join us on our journey.
Elaine was also on the board of Learning Difficulties before joining Bristol Black Carers, as a trustee just before 2000. She sat on a number of boards and fought for community buildings when they were under threat, as well as care homes.
As a trustee, she spent a lot of her time shadowing by sitting in on a number of meetings and learning. She was then appointed as the chairperson in 2004, which includes her obtaining funding to employ a team to help deliver the services.
“I want Bristol Black Carers to keep going on forever and as long as possible.”
Being a carer can often lead to feelings of isolation, so we aim to provide them with the support that they need as carers.
For Elaine, this is a feeling which is all too familiar, having cared for her son from the age of 13-46, when Kevin sadly passed away after undergoing surgery in Southmead Hospital in 2017.
“What happened to my son was a catalyst because I felt alone.”
“I really did and I thought ‘there’s nobody to help’. That's also why I’ve stayed in the position for so long because I know how hard it is when you have to do everything by yourself and you've got nobody to talk to because nobody understands and I thought ‘why am I by myself trying to do all this? Trying to get housing along with other things.”
“But, I didn't want other people to go through what I went through and not knowing what’s around the corner with nobody to help, so that's why I stayed."